Years ago I started the practice of the sister meditation. Each night inhaling your love, exhaling all of our love combined. The practice attracted the most beautiful, loving women into my life, each a vital part of me today.

Each, in their unique way, shared their life lessons. This can not be separated from me, for life. There is not a day that goes by that I do not draw from this shared love and beauty, waiting for the perfect moment to share her gift.

TRAVEL GUIDES STAY WITH YOU FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

The capacity of the HEART leaves me in awe.

GRATEFUL FOR THESE LESSONS and more not listed here:

Childlike Faith

The difference between a goal and a strategy

The power of sharing your story

Many hearts beat as one in a puppy pile

We live in a world of form.  Integrate!

The thrill of creative effort (Hey it’s a continuum!)

Sometimes you need a WTF attitude!

Talk less.  Listen more.

The value of hard work

“Teach people how to be Traveling Sanctuaries.”

Words have meaning, choose them with intention.

When in doubt hit the road and crank the tunes.

Along the journey to the HEART of what matters you will encounter some big mud puddles.  I just don’t see anywhere around them anymore.

WHY?

Because the journey to the HEART may require some deep digging.  Add all that dirt with some flooding tears and there you have it;  BIG OLE MUD PUDDLE.

AND THIS IS GOOD?

Not good.  Not bad.  But if you’re there it is necessary.

HOW DO I GET OUT?

Use your desire to dig in to dig out.   Digging in can cause confusion, initially, and is one of the first signs of your awareness to the situation.  Bought and borrowed beliefs gave you a false sense of security and belonging.  Letting go is hard.  You could compare it to stopping a bad habit, like smoking or drinking.  Literally your old body patterns signal you to latch on to these false beliefs.

Tell yourself,

“It’s okay to be stuck.”

Your awareness to the process is key.

Get a Little Push or Pull.

Lately I’ve been a little stuck, concerning a project that has been brewing inside for quite some time. (WAAAAY longer than the gestation of a human baby.  If it’s been growing inside of me for this long, does that mean it’s going to be really big?)

Blank Word Document Page............Typed Long List of Learning Modules........Juggled and Reordered Modules........Added Sub-Modules

It just wasn’t jiving. I set it aside and moved to some shorter term targets.

A few days later I met with a trusted friend, who expects the best from me and isn’t afraid to challenge me.  I asked for her help.  I told her my goal for the project.  She asked some probing questions and after a short discussion she framed my idea in the context of her journey to the black belt.  It shed some light on my idea and gave me a new perspective.

She challenged me to quickly write down 10 steps.  She didn’t let me off the hook.  I’d write….she’d say, “Okay, next…”

In that short time I didn’t have the complete picture, but  it gave me a new reference that spurred my curiosity.

When she compared my learning modules to martial arts, I began to research the belt colors and their meaning, which led me to researching the words, practice and discipline.

Curiosity – It was the little push/pull I needed.

So…here’s the formula to get unstuck

1. Gain Awareness with the help of a Trusted Travel Guide
2. Learn something new
3. Apply what you have learned
4. Practice
5. Reflect on your belief about the situation

You will rock yourself out of the mud, little forward, little back, little forward, little back

AND before you know it you’re back on the road again.

I’ll let you in on a little secret.  My learning modules will be built around these simple steps to getting out of the mud.

As a child my dad carried white handkerchiefs, ready at a moments notice to wipe a tear or snoot from a runny nose.  Some may think it unsanitary, but I’ve never heard of a plague started from a used handkerchief.

My parents believed in instilling their children with a good work ethic, hence spending many hours doing housework.   Including hours spent ironing these white handkerchiefs.  I never questioned it.  And now that I think about it, I was ironing a small piece of fabric that was going to be a receptacle for snoot and tears.  I also ironed tea towels, sheets and pillowcases, that would be wrinkled again within moments of  drying a dish or crawling into bed.

Today my labor of love has called me back to the ironing board.

Yesterday I came across a zip-lock bag filled with old hankies, sent to me by my sister-in-law years ago.  She had taken notice of my daughter and I re-purposing old garments and must have thought we could turn the hankies into something fun and useful.

All this time they had been awaiting their purpose.  I was thrilled to have found them.  I pulled them out one by one, admiring the attention to detail in the embroidery work, someone’s labor of love.  They had been laundered, but obviously used.

I thought, “Oh the places these have been, bearing witness to life, capturing the floods of sorrow and joy.

I ironed them one by one.

I placed them in piles by color.

I hung them in preparation for their purpose.

Creating Traveling Sanctuary Sisterhood Tote B*a*gs is my Labor of Love.  A piece of vintage material is incorporated into each design.

“Sister Veronica is always with us. She courageously came before us leaving behind a story that gives us faith that we can also stand in our own power and create our own story.”

The DNA calls me back to My Labor of Love, back at the ironing board.

There I was, sitting amongst women in crisis.  It wasn’t a complete surprise.  I had envisioned myself in this very setting 5 years prior.  It was a surreal feeling.  I had severed the chain.  Wow!  I did it.

What did I have in common with the women that now surrounded me?  What had launched them into space, into a free fall, without the guarantee of a safety net?   My launch had been calculated and planned with the support of my family.  I knew their launch was most likely an act of desperation.

I knew this for sure.  We all felt as if we had landed on an alien planet.  We were all experiencing paralyzing fear.  We were primed for transformation.

It was my first day, facilitating a support group for women fleeing domestic violence.  I had secured a part-time job with a local non-profit, as a family advocate.  It was part of my plan.  I would do meaningful work, on a part time basis, to bring in some money, while building my business.  I had just left my 25 year corporate career, where I had done quite well for myself.  I had steadily progressed up the ladder, earning a very respectable salary.  The benefits were nothing to sneeze at either.  I likened all that kept me there, to a velvet ball and chain.

I was grateful and discontent at the same time.  During my last 5 years, each day bought more detachment.  The distance between my values and my work environment increased as I continued to search inward.

A self-imposed chain bound me.  It kept me from free falling. What would set me free?

Coincidentally, the same 5 years I was re-discovering myself and planning my escape, my husband had been on the road working.  He was home only 3 weekends a month.  I was working full time, re-discovering myself, maintaining the household and raising our 2 children, all while he was gone.  It took a toll on our family.   My heart ached for him to be home.  It caused stress for all family members.

Things were starting to fall apart.  I needed to sever the chain.  I had to fall first, so I could be there to catch my family.  My escape was planned and desperate at the same time.   The pain of staying was worse than the pain of leaving.  I have learned that no plan is iron clad, but it does provide a strand from which other strands could attach themselves, forming a net or at least something to hang onto.

Leaving my 25 year corporate career was one of the scariest things I have ever done.   It wasn’t the drive to have my own business that gave me the courage.   The thing that gave me the courage seems so clear to me now.

I’ve given you a glimpse of my, “escape from corporate world”, story because it gives context to why I so strongly believe in the Right Brain Business Plan process.  My own experience of self-discovery and self-expression validates the process and visa-versa.

I found Jennifer’s work, online, about 2 years into my 5 year escape planning.  I bought The Unfolding Your Life Vision Kit and requested to be notified as soon as the Right Brain Business Plan Licensed Facilitator program became available.

It’s no coincidence that the licensed facilitator program became available one month prior to me leaving my corporate career.  I wouldn’t be surprised if I was the first person to sign up.

A year has passed since leaving my corporate career and signing up as a RBBP facilitator.  I am as committed to process today as I was a year ago.  I’ve renewed my license, having only coached two clients through the process since last year.

Although my business didn’t flourish financially this past year, my values have guided me to this moment.  My family is in a good place.  I have the space in my life to refocus on my business.  And, in the past 2 weeks the RIGHT opportunities to facilitate a RBBP workshop have shown up.

Jennifer states in her book, The Right Brain Business Plan, “Your values are what you hold as most important to you.  Values are your lifeblood.”   It’s what comes first.  My story is a testament to this.

Trusting myself and my values gave me the courage to make the big leap.  It’s not that I didn’t have them before.  Circumstances as they were, required that they become front and center.  Some things can only be learned through the experience of life.

My values….

• inform my decisions and actions, giving me the courage to follow through when they are unpopular and inconvenient.
• provide the structure from which to build, rather than fitting my values into a structure.
• stand the test of time and are a catalyst for my happiness, as the things that bring you true happiness have a time line.

Throughout the past year my RBBP has been hanging in my kitchen window, always in sight, grounding me in what I really want to do with my business (and life).  Being so sure of what it represented, I continue to be tuned into the signals the universe continues to provide.

Portions of this post were written for www.survivormanual.com 2  years ago.

Everyone Is a Leader

In this physical world, if leadership really looked like this, who would be at the top and where would you put yourself?

Okay, let’s use The President of the United States, Barack Obama, as our example.  If he were the ultimate supreme leader, who leads him?  Imagine the people that have surrounded him throughout his life and his current advisers.  Should they be placed above him?

I will reference a book given to my son, Barack by Jonah Winter to provide insight to individuals who have shaped a person, we label as a leader.  Barack Obama was born in Hawaii, son of an  African born father and Caucasian mother from Kansas.  His father left when he was a toddler.  His mother re-married and they moved to Indonesia.  Later he went back to Hawaii to live with his grandparents.  In college he discovered his art, moving people just with the power of his words.  Later, in Chicago, his job was to help poor people help themselves. His journey led him to Trinity Church, which surrounded him with the people from his neighborhood, including many he had helped. Becoming Illinois State Senator and U.S. Senator followed and then President of the United States, with his wife and family at his side.

Now consider the visual model of leadership below by imagining all the people that surround and shape your life. Would you consider them leaders?  In this model there is an ebb and flow of leadership?  Sometimes you lead and sometimes you are led.  Sometimes you are the teacher and sometimes you are the student.  In this model everyone is given the opportunity to be a leader.

Your Job as an Artist

Your job is to create your art and ship your art.  Remember “Art is never defect free.”  And it has more to do with the emotional labor you put into your physical output.  So what is your clay, paint, instrument?  One person’s paint is another persons statistical equation.

Consider the word art.  We tend to think of it a physical creation to be hung on a wall, placed in a gallery or a movie or song to be watched and heard.  Expand your definition of art to mean, emotional labor as described by Seth Godin in Linchpin.  “Emotional labor, was first coined forty years ago by sociologist Arlie Hochschild in her book, The Managed Heart.  She described it as the “management of feeling to create a publicly observable facial and bodily display.”  In other words, it’s work you do with your feelings, not your body. Seth goes on to explain. Emotional labor is the hard work of making art, producing generosity, and exposing creativity. Working without a map involves both vision and the willingness to do something about what you see. Imagine art as, listening, working a spreadsheet, organizing an amazing event.  It’s art when you lose yourself inside it and would do it without monetary reward.  It’s the inside yes, as I like to call it. Art; sometimes it comes easy and sometimes you just need to hammer away.

Sisterhood of Leaders, sharing our (H)(E)art!

A lot of the stress we feel in the modern world comes from this conflict between the small world in which we’re wired to exist and the large world we use to make a living. (Linchpin page 155) .  A sisterhood or tribe is a community in which you participate and do not charge interest.  The whole bit about not charging interest makes me chuckle because I know married couples who would indeed charge each other interest, so I guess technically their blood family isn’t considered their tribe in this instance.  And if you charge everyone interest I guess that means you are a one person tribe, in this instance.  Looking at the circles above, imagine your tribe as the purple ring around you.  These are the people that you don’t charge interest.  They are the recipients of your free art via 1-on-1 interactions.

I’ve come to call my tribes, sister subsets and brother brackets.   These subsets include my family, close personal friends and organizations that have synergistic values.   The sisters and brothers in my tribe have other people in their tribe for whom they do not charge interest.  By virtue of me sharing my art with my tribe, it benefits a person I may not even know.   Together we create value which may or may not be sold for monetary gain, which is never the overriding goal.

Traveling Sanctuary™ Sisterhood

At the core of Modern B*a*g Ladies is a set of values.  It is at the core of where I harness my emotional labor and create and share my (H)(E)eart.

Join the Movement To Break Down Barriers Between Women

Number of people who have joined the movement:

By signing your name to the Traveling Sanctuary™ Sisterhood Pledge, you join the voices of many women who believe in creating a safe place, for all women, everywhere we go, by listening, encouraging and supporting each others journey of self-discovery and expression of self.

I PLEDGE TO DO MY PART TO ADVOCATE FOR MY SISTERS. I BELIEVE…

• Women are more alike than they are different. She is me. I am not separate from her.
• One must know herself and take care of herself before she can FULLY care for others and the world around her.
• The world needs the influence of women in reshaping the definition of social responsibility and personal success. By listening to, encouraging and supporting other women we strengthen our collective influence.
• Women must gather together with purpose in small and large groups, in support of taking action.
• The most joyous part of your journey starts when we worry less about getting and more about giving our gift, which is our (H)(E)art.
• The journey of a joyous woman is filled with hills & valleys, blind curves and clear skies, scavenger hunts and maps. We give ourselves and others grace, while holding each other accountable to being our best.

Keep Scrolling

For the past 4 days I have pondered over what to write.  So much on my mind, swirling around, but lacking the clarity to put anything down with the tippity-tap of the keys.  To be completely honest, I’ve struggled a tad bit getting myself out of bed the past 4 days as well.  My heart, heavy with something one doesn’t just put their finger on.   I know the remedy.  GET UP! DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING.

Truth is our teacher.  Life is our stage.  Avoiding the truths of my life must be weighing me down.  I have a truth that’s been banging around in my mind, like a pin ball, racking up points, rather pounds, in self sabotage.

I wonder what people are thinking when they see me.  (She was so thin last time I saw her.  Now? Not so much.)

I started to lose weight, quite out in the open last August.  I posted my progress and wrote about how healthy I was eating.  I guess this is my coming out on the other end post.  I feel like I’ve come through the other end of a narrow dark passage since last October, an unavoidable birthing I had to experience for which I am thankful.

Life circumstances has had me on an emotional roller coaster filled with much anxiety, which manifested into a full on bout with depression.  I’ve had my ups and downs in life, but never had I felt this low.  It was President’s Day February 20th.  The kids were off from school and I was to take Gavin and his friend sledding.  I woke up with an upset stomach and not quite feeling myself.  By the time early evening rolled around it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was at the ice arena. Gavin had hockey practice.  Tom was out of town at his job site.  I called him.  He would be home in a few days.  I had to hold it together.

My family is familiar with depression and anti-depressant drugs.  I have had my opinions about the whole medicine thing.  I called the doctor.  I went to my appointment.  I got the pills.  They made me feel worse than ever.  I had to force myself to eat and couldn’t keep food down most of the time.  I was told to give it 3-4 weeks.  I called the doctor back.  I started taking 1/2 the dose. Feeling a bit better, but still not great. Finally I thought, this stuff isn’t working.  They put me on a different drug.

WARNING!  Increased appetite and weight is a possible side effect.  With in a day I started to feel more of myself.   “The first medicine must have made my depression worse.  Do I really need this new stuff?”   I  pondered, “What was worse the fear of the depression or the fear of becoming dependent on the medicine?”

My appetite INCREASED.  The pounds came back like homing pigeons set free from their cages.  100 pounds.  There I said it. What you ask?  I lost and gained back 50 pounds in the past year. 50 +50 = 100.

In this case a 50 pound story would be even more concerning.  Having never lost the 50 pounds in the first place maybe I would have added an additional 50 pounds to my original weight.

The truth is food is my drug of choice.  Legal but still lethal.  So what makes me any different from those who choose illegal drugs?

Regarding the legal drug I am taking, I’m weaning myself off.  Considering continuing the weight loss journey I started last August as well.  Life’s journey on a stage, sometimes it feels long, other times too short.

“Fickle human!  This is enough and I am grateful.”

Several months ago Kim asked me to think of how I would want my Traveling Sanctuary™ B*a*g to look.  I thought of it vaguely in my mind. It wasn’t until she came down to Iowa and we spend a weekend together working on girl projects that I really began to let my mind flow with ideas.  She asked me questions like what words would you use to describe yourself?  I said, “Resourceful and caring.”

Together we experienced the treasures in my sewing room; embroidery work, my fabric stash.  The ideas flowed as we went through the process.  From there I selected a bling button I loved of my Mom’s and Grandma’s belt buckle, which inspired the colors of my B*a*g.   With the knowledge of my truth and how I could express that through my B*a*g we went to the fabric store to choose fabrics.  It organically came together.

As I use my B*a*g in my daily ventures it has opened me up to speaking and connecting with many women who would not have spoken to me, but because of my B*a*g.  One ladies response was,  “Your purse could be my purse in so many ways.”  She was excited and wanted to know how she could have one too. Many see the picture of my children inside and say, “Where did you get that purse.”  The first time I used it was when I went to church on a Saturday nite. The lady sitting next to me said, (the second I sat down), “THAT IS A NEAT PURSE.”

My Traveling Sanctuary™ B*a*g has opened me up to many woman, connecting in ways only women can.  This has been fun and being a people person, I love connecting.  The most important part has been the whole process, a process that has made me think of myself, understanding myself and meeting some sisters I would not have, but because of my B*a*g.

As I develop the Traveling Sanctuary B*a*g product I’ve discovered that the process of self-discovery is so much more a part of our ongoing lives than the actual expression of self.  Our self expression is a moment in time, ever evolving and changing, perhaps becoming more REAL, more OUR TRUE SELVES, but still changing.

The purpose of the Traveling Sanctuary B*a*g is to use the catalyst of your own self expression as a launching pad to have a conversation with someone, a conversation that presents an opportunity for that someone to ask themselves a question that sets them adrift into their own self discovery.  It really is magical.

So, the B*a*g comes first.  The conversation is more important than our self expression.  Our self expression is just one way to start the conversation.  It’s the path given to me (the B*a*g), what I was meant to express and share.

I started writing and blogging 5 years ago.  It fulfilled a desire for self-discovery and self expression.

Suddenly, given time to stop and reflect, my life perplexed me.  A 6 week recovery from a hysterectomy opened the gate to something more.  I had given myself permission to feel better, after my road weary uterus was put out to pasture.  In reality I had a spiritual wound which manifested itself into fatigue, physical pain, discontent and some bitterness.

My search for something more landed me on my computer late, late into the night.  I had a full time job.  My husband worked out of town 90% of the time.  I was running a household and caring for 2 children.  Who had time to explore in the real world?

In the bizarre bazaar of the internet (as Angela would say) I connected with “my people”.  I read.  I learned.  I chatted.  I’ve nurtured online and in person friendships as a result.  I discovered myself really.  It fueled my dreams and now I’m doing more than cruising the online world.  I’m getting involved in the real world by being and doing ME!

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Like I said, I’ve met amazing people at the bizarre online bazaar, Angela Shelton being one of them.  She has listed me along side 14 other bloggers that inspire, bestowing the honor of  the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.

I accept the award.   Inspiration is everywhere.  I’ve found it online and in the real world.  I just needed to look.  I just needed to know my heart.  I just needed to open my heart.  The smallest of things inspire and I accept the award because it makes me accountable to living my life.  That’s what inspires, the courage to live your life, walking with and through the fear of what it means to live your purpose, when it is the scariest thing to do.

The very cool thing about this are the rules to it and how I now get to introduce you to other awesome bloggers that I love. Clever and fun!

7 Things About Me

#1 – I am a Traveling Sanctuary and so is my B*a*g (believe * act * go)

#2 – The older I get the younger I get.

I give myself permission to be silly.

There is nothing better than having the life experiences in your autumn years along with a youthful heart.  Double Whammy!

#3 – I know my top 5 talent themes  (Find your top talents at Strength Finders 2.0.)

1. Connectedness – I create peace within groups and between people by linking them to one another.
2. Maximizer – Dwelling on my shortcomings strikes me as an utter waste of time.  I routinely deepen my understanding through conversation.
3. Empathy – I am very alert to the unexpected ideas and feelings contained in words of an individual.  I honor the natural desire of human beings to be heard without interruption.
4. Relator – I talk about complicated topics or situations by highlighting only the basic points.
5. Intellection – I gravitate towards people who converse about ideas at a deeper and more thoughtful level than most.

#4 – I’m a huge dork.  See photo above and below.

#5 -   I love to dance.  It is core to my existence. (Wow! I’m feeling like this whole post is about me.  Feeling a little uncomfortable with that.  I’m an Introvert and proud of it.)

#6 – I’m a Night Owl.  I find it difficult to converse before 10am in the morning.

#7 – I think humans are amazing, beautiful creatures.

Shout Out to 15 Amazing Bloggers (women with a presence online)

1. Enchanted Makeovers – Terry Grahl
2. I’m Choosing Beauty – Liv Lane
3. White Hot Truth – Danielle LaPorte
4. Inspire Somebody – Britini Wilson
5. Erica Staab
6. Dottie Angel
7. Right Brain Business Plan – Jennifer Lee
8. Pink Slipper Project – Joyce
9. The Introverted Entrepreneur – Beth Buelow
10. Ordinary Courage – Brene Brown
11. Owning Pink
12. Rhonda Dean
13. Lori Bestler
14. Moop
15. and of course Angela Shelton

It starts with a desire for something more.   You may have every material thing you’ve ever desired or reached a degree of success in your professional career, but if given a moment to yourself, a moment to reflect on your present state of life you think, “Hmmm…. It this it?”

A life changing event happens, big or small…. the loss of something….a uterus, breast(s), a marriage, a job or the complete understanding of who you are.  Some call it a mid-life crisis, in hind sight one to give thanks.  Perhaps?

So, here we are.  Lori says it this way, “Seeds of autumn, like tiny thoughts in a great brain, settle into the earth and eventually struggle to find the sun.”  You’ve caught a glimpse of that seed.

You want to talk to somebody.  Does anyone else feel like this?  Like a child, you have so many questions and once again that desire to explore and discover.  As a youngster you probably gave it not a second thought, the desire to know yourself.  You just were yourself, but life happened.  Bought and borrowed beliefs were adopted.

Are you picking up what I’m putting down?  (My daughter cringes when I say stuff like that.  It just came out. (a shrug of my shoulders and a slight smirk forms.))  If so, think about being a safe place where other women feel safe to expose their state of mind and being.  Perk your ears and heart a bit, so to notice when meeting a sister in this state.  We must stand together and support each other, with acceptance.

Next…… ask the questions and seek the answers to the next question.